Aug 9, 2009

She speaks!!!

... Obama's Socialized Medicine... aka America's Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009

Although I'm not quite sure where I stand on this Act, I don't believe that universal health care for all is the way to go.

BUT before I carve out my beliefs in stone, I like to do my research which includes reading what BOTH sides have to say on the topic of discussion!

Because really, how are we supposed to not get an objective picture of the situation??? We can't really, everyone has an agenda and even though the media tries to be fair and factual and all that good stuff, even the good writers sometimes push their own/or their companies own agenda out through their writing.

I read an article on socialized medicine this morning that I really liked because the writer states his own view point but challenges others who don't agree with it to do their research and argue it intelligently. Below is the article. I hope you enjoy.

Socialized medicine, evil, and death to old people by Yobie Benjamin of the San Francisco Chronicle

I got a thoughtful and important question on my quip that health care should be provided as a service provided by government like education, roads and a robust military.

I really did not want to get into this health care debate but the emailed question was provocative so I feel it deserved a a thoughtful answer albeit many would disagree with me.

Also Gov. Sarah Palin just issued a statement last Friday calling Obama's health plan "downright evil" saying in a Facebook posting that he would create a "death panel" that would deny care to the neediest Americans. Holy guacamole!!! - get ready for the battle with Mephistopheles! Such hyperbolic and vile language deserves a thoughtful comeback.

Personally I believe that we should have a single-payer system but am also realistic enough to know that such change is impossible under the prevailing political atmosphere.

Well, socialized health care is already provided by government:
Public option supporters

Public option supporters

1) Medicare is comprehensive health care for all people over 65. Young people meaning all people who work and are under 65 pay for this socialized medicine.

If you happen to be old and are against socialized medicine, you should send a letter to Medicare and state specifically that you want to be dropped from the rolls though an easy way would just be to pay everything yourself. If you're old and not on Medicare, you're not insurable anyway as you're too risky so just pay in cash or credit.

2) Veterans' Administration health care system is 100% socialized medicine. We all pay for the health care of ALL eligible veterans and their immediate families.

Same thing if you're a vet and don't like socialized medicine. Don't go to the VA, simple end of story. Get private insurance or pay cash or credit.

3) Medicaid is 100% socialized medicine for the very poor.

Who cares about the poor? Right? Let's take a Queen Marie Antoinette attitude.

4) SCHIP is deeply subsidized insurance for children ages up to 18. This covers children whose families are not impoverished (otherwise they go on Medicaid) but don't make enough to be able to afford health insurance.

5) The Federal health care program that covers all senators, congresspersons and all their respective staff IS socialized medicine taxpayers pay for and is currently part of a health insurance exchange - in fact a federal employee gets to pick from 14 insurance options.

So if you truly do not support the notion of socialized medicine, please call call your senator and congressperson and ask them to rescind and take away all Medicare, VA Hospital System, SCHIP and Medicaid. If you've ever benefited from these programs, return the money. We do have a big deficit. It would be the fair thing to do, right?

If not, shouldn't government provide for the the health of the commons fairly - not just the old, children who are not poor nor rich, the very poor and veterans?

Under HR 3200 America's Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009 (which I DID READ and then some more!) from Congress, Americans who are not old, veterans, not rich/not dirt poor kids, or the really poor will continue to buy health insurance from private companies, continue to get their health care from doctors in private practice and continue to be treated at privately owned hospitals. PERIOD END-OF-STORY

There will be a health insurance exchange set up by the government where individual and businesses will be able to purchase insurance from private insurers at lower rates than are now generally available under rules that require insurers to offer coverage to anyone regardless of health condition. Low-income workers buying insurance through the exchange along with their employers - would be eligible for government subsidies.

Realistically, a public insurance option will not survive in the Senate. Again if you read the bill there is NO extending Medicare beyond old people though there is a Republican proposal to open Medicare to people aged 55 and above and the provision might get in the bill markup process. So if the Republicans succeed in getting their proposal in, we will have a new "donut hole" - if you're between 19 - 55 years old, you're out of luck in getting socialized medicine.

The public-run insurance plan will not drive every private insurer out of business because there will be NO public option (Thanks to "bipartisanship". For the record, I firmly support a public option but I am not in congress so all I can do is blog) so insurance companies will not go bust.

There is no provision for the Department of Motor Vehicles to be in charge of your stent replacement, knee surgery or cancer treatment. There is also no provision to euthanize old people. There is a proposal that Medicare pay for counseling on end-of-life care but it is hardly an old person mass murder plot.

There is also no provision to allow government to negotiate drug prices nor to allow medicines from Canada (hardly a third world country flooded with counterfeit drugs) so your 30-day supply of Lipitor is guaranteed to be still over $100 if you have no insurance or are caught in the Medicare donut hole.

And how do we pay for it? Stop the Bush tax cuts in 2010 instead of expiring in 2011 and do not extend them. That saves $1.5 trillion (for 10 years) and we'll have $1/2 trillion left. Health care reform is projected at $1 trillion for 10 years so there - it's paid with no tax increases for the middle class. Also the federal government MUST STOP taking money from the Medicare and Social Security Trust Fund (which is the reason why the funds are headed to insolvency in the first place) to use for general fund expenses. If we just left Social Security and Medicare funds alone, there would be NO Medicare crisis. I will happily pay my share knowing that everyone will have their health taken care of. Is that socialist? So be it. I'll start another company to make up for the additional taxes I have to pay.

If you do not agree with any of the points above, argue your position, thoughtfully, factually and with conviction. Quit shouting, whining, screaming or intimidating others you do not agree with. Mob action makes you no different from crazy zealots in Iran. Read the bill and argue your points. You can't just say "X" is evil with no logical reasoning and hope to win your argument - Nice try though!

You'll have a chance in 2010 to vote the people you do not like out of office.

As for me... socialized medicine for all? Cool!

Read more:

Jun 29, 2009

In reference to my old blog... Where I started my PREBucket List... I wanted to add to it...

26. Seduce my husband... when I get one.

27. Have a God-based marriage

28. Build a darkroom

29. Have children

30. Always put God first

31. See Incubus in concert

32. Eat sushi in Japan

33. Laugh until I cry

34. Spend the whole night at the beach

35. Live in France (again)

36. Go on a Missions trip (where ever Gods leads me)

37. Get a tat, big or small

38. Have five dogs... at once.

39. Kiss in the rain

40. Spend an obscene amount of money on ONE thing that I really want and not feel guilty about it.

Jun 13, 2009

Back in the saddle.

...Or backing in my running shoes.

I just signed up for the Disneyland 5k Run!!! I'm so excited!

Jun 10, 2009

I got into a car accident last week on Monday... June 1st. Great way to start of the month, right?

My car's totaled and now I have to buy a new one. Which is actually good in a way because I wanted to a new one to begin with.

Anyway, everyone involved in the accident is okay. Nothing more than cuts and bruises and of course the soreness that comes with a collision.

Unfortunately, I can't get the image of my car hitting the other car and the sound it made out of my mind. Have you ever experienced that? You see something so shocking, so upsetting that you just can't get it out of your minds eye?

It plays over and over again like a little movie clip. Thankfully, since a week has passed it's lessened. I just wished it'd go away completely.

RIP 06/01/2009

May 31, 2009


Yeah buddy!!!

May 29, 2009

Serious shiz.

In case you aren't yet aware... The official NEW MOON trailer will be premiering at the 2009 MTV Movie Awards THIS SUNDAY, May 31st, at 9PM!!!

I'm so excited!!!

Have a great weekend!

May 11, 2009

God is good.

I don't think I fully grasp just how much God takes care of me...

I go through life and just assume that the good things that come my way are thanks to me!

(HA! How self-centered and egotistical am I?!)

I've been having to put a lot of money in my car lately.

(And by "a lot" I mean I could've paid for a two week vacation to France)


This past weekend felt like the last straw. My camel's back is broke. My car started over-heating and leaking coolant. A potentially easy fix, right?

Well... They replaced the thingamajig and the dew-hickey.

(Technical terms for engine thermometer and radiator cap)

I left the mechanics with a bounce in my step. Believing all would be well with my car. At least for a little while. I mean, it's eight years old, something else is bound to go wrong, right?

And of course, it does... It happens not an hour later, in line at a Costco gas pump. My engine starts to over-heat. Again. Images of lighting her (my car is a she) on fire, pushing her off a cliff or taking a bat to her play over and over in my head.

My reoccurring fantasies since the beginning of this whole debacle.

I went back to the mechanic. He decided that my car should participate in a "slumber party" along with several other cars at his shop. So that's where she is. Not safe in my garage, ready for me to take her out to work in the morning, but in some mechanic's shop.

Here's the twist to this whole story and the reason that I believe more today than yesterday (because apparently I need daily reminders) that GOD HAS MY BACK. Had it not been for the fact that I got extra work this weekend. I would not be able to pay for the work that is happening to my car.

God knew that I'd have an obstacle in my path and provided me with a solution to go around it.

God is good.

May 7, 2009

committment issues

yes in deedy. i have some BIG commitment issues!

i was going "strong" there for a bit... writing my little blogs... (and when i say "strong" i mean "when inspiration struck") but now...


I'm a dry well. I hope I fill back up soon.

Apr 11, 2009


nothing beats...


i. can't. get. enough.

Apr 2, 2009


My Relient k tickets are IN THE MAIL.


And to make the month of May an EVEN BETTER MONTH...

I'm going to see Dane Cook!!!

I'm a happy girl.

(Now if only I'd bump into Edward Cullen at one of these events, fall in love and make a billion babies...)

Too much?

Mar 30, 2009

Them good ol' days.

Remember those days when we were young and life seemed to pass at a crawl?

I so do. I remember those days fondly, when I'd look forward to summer where all I had to worry about were my chores. I'd run around the streets with a few neighborhood kids, we'd ride bikes in the neighborhood church parking lot, collect golf balls and sell them at the local golf course and eat our weight in Popsicles.

Summer of last year I got a little taste of that when I went on a family trip to Page, AZ. We booked a timeshare for two weeks on a houseboat. It was the best time of my life... My family's a little crazy, but whose isn't?

Man, to be a kid again...

Mar 27, 2009

dude, relient k.

i'm headed to their concert in may and i'm SO EXCITED.

what?! you've never heard of them?!

you need to check out their music video then. right now.


Mar 26, 2009

He has my back.

Before I go into my story from last week, let me explain what I do. I am a sub-contractor or a consultant... Which is pretty much a fancy way of saying I'm self-employed.

Anyway, I work with a guy, let's call him "Tim". He works for himself out of his home. He, like me, is a consultant. He has one main client that he works for, this client is BIG in our industry and gets a lot of jobs. Let's call Tim's client "Sandy".

[AND another side note... my friend Ashley and I are looking for a place to live. We want to be roomies. Because of the housing market, she decided to purchase a house rather than us rent, which is awesome and exciting. A little scary too, for her, because this is HUGE.]

So, last Monday... I came into work and Tim called me into his office. He said that Sandy called him earlier that same morning and said that he wanted to "phase me out" which means that he wants to slowly replace me with someone else.

The person he has in mind is a guy he knows through his church. Sandy is a huge promoter of his church. HUGE. And I think that's great, good for him and all. But according to Tim, Sandy has been trying to get more of his church people to work for him so that he can drop Tim (now Tim and me)... Poor Tim. I've seen this first hand, last year we had a guy working with us. He didn't last more than a month. Poor guy.

(Sad thing, Tim is the only one willing to put up with Sandy's crap. Sandy has a temper. A big one. I've also seen this first hand, not directly at me but I've watched him rip Tim's head off and spit down his throat. Not a fun thing to watch.)

(He's also micromanages, which is killer to work for. Trust me. I'm just glad I don't work directly with Sandy. If I did, I wouldn't still be working here.)

Anyway, Tim told me this and then said that he'd fight for me. He'd fight for me as long as he won't lose business. Most of what Tim said after this went in one ear and out the other. My mind was reeling, I didn't know what to think. I was already making plans in my head. I was so scared. I wanted to cry right there but I kept it in.

I hate crying in front of people.

One thing I knew that I had to do right away was call Ashley. She had plans to put in an offer on a house that day. Ugh. I didn't know if my unemployment would have any effect on whether or not she'd bid on a home but I had to let her know before she did it. Come to find out the house wouldn't have worked out for her and we found a better one.

Anyway, I couldn't really concentrate the rest of the day. I was too upset. I sat at my desk and cried a little. I couldn't completely let go, I didn't want Tim to hear. That afternoon, he called Mic (one of Sandy's business partners) and told him about Sandy's plan. Tim said that Mic loves me, he knows I'm a good worker (since he's worked with me) and knows that I'm worth keeping around. Tim said that maybe Mic would call Sandy and talk to him about keeping me on anyway.

Not an hour after I came home and had told my mom the news, Tim called and said that Sandy had called him. Sandy said that I have nothing to worry about, this "phasing out" wont be right away, that it's a long term thing.

Tim says two years.

Which is good. I don't need more than that because I'm planning on going back to school. He said that Sandy's 100% behind us, whatever that means. All I know is, I'm still scared. I don't trust Sandy, not that I did before but now it's worse. Now I'm bracing myself, in case something happens. After the phone call, I bawled. I was so relieved that at least tomorrow I'd have my job.

What I don't understand is why he'd want to replace me just to replace me. His reason wasn't because of my poor quality of work product or that his business is slowing down and he can't afford me. In fact this business is booming right now. He merely wants to replace me with someone because of my religion. Yeesh.

It was funny timing though, the weekend before, I did my taxes and found a bunch of money that I didn't need to pay the government... Like this was all of Gods plan. Most of it's going into savings now in preparation for losing my job, just in case it happens. But had this scare not happened who knows what I would've done with the money, paid off some of my mom's debt, bought us some new clothes or something... Spent part of it, that's for sure... And on something that is not completely necessary.

Thankfully, I had it to pay for Buster Browns dental surgery which was badly needed (my mom doesn't have the money to pay for Busters teeth) and for saving, which is really important. Now more than ever.

I'm almost glad it happened. I'm increasing the amount I save per paycheck and I'm going to open an IRA, which is an investment account for retirement. AND it happens the day that Ashley is planning on making a bid, not the day after! Yikes.

God works in mysterious ways. =] Let's thank Him for that, shall we?

Mar 7, 2009

Relationships are messy.

That's why for the majority of my 25 years in existence I've avoided them like a hooker avoids a cop.

With fear, distrust, and uncertainty.

(And I'm sure I sound a little jaded but I swear it has all to do with my insecurity, which I'm sure doesn't make me look any more appealing)

I didn't date in high school. Mostly, it's because the other sex didn't find me attractive... but partially it's because I didn't put myself out there. I kept my heart in a little box locked in a bigger box buried in my backyard under my favorite climbing tree.

I was afraid (and still am) of getting hurt. I got to witness it front and center when my mom left my dad and he just couldn't deal. It was hard for him and it took all of my childhood for him to heal.

Throughout college I had plenty of guy friends, buddies, pals, dudes. Nothing that ever became more. Guys who were interested in getting into my pants dating me never lasted. I'd want a relationship, they'd want booty call.

No thanks.

The point is, to this day, I'm still dumb-struck when a guy approaches me or even shows interest in taking me on a date. Me. Gulp.

Pathetic? I know.

Insecure? Yes, you're table is waiting.

So, now. Here I sit, dumb-struck.

A guy approached me today and somehow he got my number. I remember someone handing him my card... I think it was me.

And now. I don't know if I'm more terrified that he'll call or that he won't.

I need to get my head checked.

Mar 5, 2009

Honest to God.

I'm sending in a very humiliating and absolutely TRUE secret about myself to Post Secret...

Wonder if they'll publish it in their next book.

Mar 4, 2009

I have no words to express what I felt after I reading an article called "Nugget Nightmare: 911 Called on McDonalds" this morning...

Essentially, a woman called 911 after finding out that her McDonalds had run out of McNuggets... And she not only called them once, or twice, but three times.


What is wrong with this lady?

I'm losing my confidence in the competency of the human race... and sadly, it amuses me.

Feb 25, 2009


Three day weekend for me.

Sacramento. Here I come.

Feb 24, 2009


The grass is always greener on the other side of the road... I hate that expression...

Because its SO true.


It's mostly true when I go to a restaurant and can't decide what to eat. Which isn't frequent because I rarely go out to dinner and when I do I want something good. I went to Chipotle the other night with a few friends and such a thing happened to me...

Jen: So what are you going to get? (Standing at the end of what seems like a very long line. It was a busy night.)

Me: Uh. No. What are you getting?

Jenn J.: (Yes there are two Jens) I'm thinking of the three tacos. Is that good?

Me: Very, but I don't think I can eat all three...

Jen: Want to share them? I'm not that hungry either.

Me: Uh. I don't know. I was thinking of the salad... but I'm not sure. Ugh. I hate when I do this.

Jen: Ok. We have time. Let me know.

Me: (watching the line get shorter as we creep to the front, panic starting to set in) Internal monologue: Tacos or salad... Tacos or salad... But the burrito bowl looks good too... Crap. Well. I know I want chicken, I always get chicken... Maybe I should try the veggie... I always try chicken. What is my problem... Why can't I just decide?

Jen: Soooo... Have you decided yet?

Me: Yes. Let's share something. (Next in line) Internal monologue: Ok, well at least I decided on sharing... That should narrow our options down... No to tacos. How are we supposed to split the third taco? I don't know her well enough yet to share saliva... Maybe the salad... No. It's mostly lettuce and salsa... That leaves the burrito bowl or the burrito...

Jen: (laughing because she's watching the conflict of decisions cross my face) Well, what do you want to share?

Me: Internal monologue: Damn... Well... Burrito bowl with chicken?

Jen: Ok.

Me: Internal monologue: Ok! Good... Good. Wait. Is Jenn J. ordering the salad??? Oh. It looks so good. The lettuce. The chicken. The salsa... Drat.

Feb 8, 2009


Thanks to Clever Girl Goes Blog... I've been assigned a meme!

What I must do is list ten things I like that start with the letter "A".

So... Here it goes.

1. Ansel Adams. Do I get points for the double "A"? My FAVORITE photographer. I wish I were as talented as he.

2. Avocados. They are so good!

3. Architecture... I love looking at architecture, especially that of really old buildings... One of my favorite places is Falling Water, a home built by Frank Lloyd Wright. I dont usually like modern styled buildings, but this one is so beautiful and it incorporates it's surroundings really well. If you haven't been, you need to go.

4. American Eagle Outfitters. I love this store!!! I love their sweaters and their flip flops the most!

5. America's Next Top Model... I love the photography aspect of it the most. I wish that I could work those photo shoots but from the photographers side of it. I hate that all the girls are so skinny. Ick. We need to change our image of what beauty is!

6. Apple... Not the fruit, although I love those too... I love Apple computers. I love my iPod. I'm not completely sold on the iPhone, I think I'll keep my Blackberry, thank you.

7. Archery. I used to do it as a kid... My step dad was really into it and so we'd go to tournaments... I think I even won a medal.

8. Anemone... That is a sea anemone. They are awesome... They are so beautiful and colorful, I was able to touch some while at the Long Beach Aquarium. They are also the home to clown fish, they're pretty too.

9. A Midsummer Nights Dream, my favorite play written by Shakespeare.

10. AIX-EN-PROVENCE!!!!!!!!!!! It's a town in the south of France and I lived there for a year!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVED it... I would go back in a heart beat... Maybe I'll sell my kidney to buy my plane ticket... Any takers?

I'm gonna cheat...

11. Angelina Jolie... She is one bad ass actress... Did I just say ass? Hunh...

12. Austen... Jane Austen. One of the BEST authors EVER.

13. Art... Especially photography. I love photography... I also love, paintings. Monet is awesome.

Ok, I could go on... But I'm going to bore you... :) If you want to do this meme, comment and I'll assign you a letter!

Feb 4, 2009

Sometimes... I feel like I have a multiple personality disorder.


Unlike some people (who've since birth known exactly what they want to do), I have no flippin' idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

I'm 25 years old and I. HAVE. NO. IDEA.

OR rather, I have many ideas.

Whoever said more options is better than none is full of it.

When I was little, all I could think about being was a teacher. They were the ones with all the power... besides parents. They say, you obey. Plus, they got to mark up papers with colorful fancy pens. I even played pretend school with some of the kids in my neighborhood.

In high school, I was less sure what I wanted. I just knew, like I've always known, that the one thing I want most is to be happy. Plain and simple.

In college my major started out as Liberal Studies, logically, because that's what I always thought I wanted to be. Then I started doubting myself. I hate that word. Doubt. Ugh. Anyway, I ended up changing my major to business. I loved my classes, got great grades, blah, blah, blah. One problem. I didn't have any clue as to what I'd do with my degree once I was done. I just knew I didn't want to be stuck managing some retail store. Not me. I can't handle people when they're yelling in my face complaining about something so minuscule and unimportant. I'd slap them in the face and then quit.

Then, as graduation became more visible on the horizon I knew I needed to get my butt in gear. That's when my current job "fell" into my lap. I took it and have been there ever since. In the beginning I thought it could potentially be a job that I'd do for the rest of my life. To be an appraiser in this specialized field.

But I was wrong.

The actual job I do now, I like it, and on some days I'd say I even love it. But the income potential is null unless I take more classes and become certified. Which is not what I want to do.

I feel like I've hit the glass ceiling and I'm going no where and my life is slowly pressing me harder and harder into that ceiling until either I or the ceiling breaks.

When it comes to this, to my future, I've never been one to settle. Now wont be any different.

Now I just need to figure out what my next step will be. Currently, I've taken an interest in Urban and Regional Planning... I took a class in it through an extension program at a college near me. I enjoyed it and am now volunteering twice a month in the planning department for the city... Well, I've only gone once so far. But I know that doing this (even though I'm not getting paid) will help me answer my next question: Is this what I want to do?

But while I'm waiting to answer my own question I can't help but think of other options...

Go to a culinary arts school ? Do photography? Work on a cruise ship and travel? Teach English in a foreign country? Manage of some retail store and make more money but be miserable? Become a sub-teacher while I wait out our crummy economy? Stay where I'm at and continue to be dirt poor? Go back to school? And for what? Become a teacher, urban planner, or for my MBA? Can I even afford to go back to school?

The problem is in deciding, not in doing. I've proven it to myself that I can achieve anything I put my mind to. (see:5k marathon blogs)

Now all I have to do is decide. Sounds so simple.

Feb 2, 2009

On time and late.

How is it possible to be on time and late?

I don't have the exact answer, but I'm sure I did just that yesterday at my 5k marathon.

The plan was to wake up at 4.30 in the morning and leave my house at 5.15 to be in Huntington by 6.45. That all worked out according to plan... Sort of.

Let me set the scene.

6.25 am: Starbucks, Newport Beach Blvd, Newport. We decided to stop there for water and a bathroom break. About 20 minutes away from destination.

6.43 am: Coasting down PCH towards destination (Huntington St & PCH, Huntington, CA).

6.45 am: Thanks to my anxiousness, we pulled into the first parking lot for the event (Brookhurst & PCH, Huntington Beach, CA). What we didn't realize at the time was this parking lot was a little over TWO MILES away from the start line... And we walked it.

7.05 am: My anxiety increases as I realize that not only the start line but the event center tent is no where in site and my run starts in 10 minutes. I speed up as I realize the other runners around me are here for the half marathon which starts at 7.45 am.

7.15 am: Still haven't arrived at event center, realizing I need to go to the bathroom and wont be able to run 3 miles until I do so... I took off at a faster pace, leaving my mom with plans to meet her at the finish line.

7.28 am: Finally, I arrived at the event center and to my dismay the line for the restrooms is a million miles long (ok, maybe that's an exaggeration but it felt that long)

7.47 am: After waiting in line for what felt like forever, I headed out to find the start line for the 5k race. Because it was so late, I started to feel discouraged. Would they even let me start so late? How am I going to get across the street with hundreds of runners running?

7.51 am: I decided to cross the street and start somewhere in between the start line for the half marathoners and the 5k start line...

37 minutes later...


I can't believe it. Thinking back on it. I dont know how I did it. It felt so much shorter than what I expected. It was great.

I'm totally doing it again next year.

It's who I am.

I did it. I made it to the finish line.

And it feels good.

So in honor of crossing that finish line I'm going to give you a little insight. Into me.

Over the past few months I've really learned a lot about me and what I'm capable of. I am determined, self-motivated (for the most part), a dreamer, a romantic.

I love with my whole heart which is, at some moments in my life regrettably, worn on my sleeve. I'm open, and most hours in my life outrageously happy. I prefer to see the good in people instead of picking out the bad.

I'm impatient. Yes. I said it. I am, I know it, now you do.

I'm anxious, sentimental and easily distracted...

I have been and will always be slightly over weight, and I'm okay with that. For a long long time I wasn't. I wanted to be like the girls you see in magazines. Obviously. I mean, with the social expectations we Americans place on ourselves, what girl doesn't? And if they say they don't they're (a) lying, and secretly do or (b) have come to the realization, as I just have, that you are who you are and what you are is beautiful.


Yes. I know. I'm that too.

I try to compartmentalize my feelings. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't, you can read my face like a book and I hate it.

I hate showing my vulnerable side, I hate being weak.

I'm a nurturer. I love taking care of other people.

... I'm more than this, but it's a start into getting to know who I am.

So. Hello. :)

Jan 30, 2009

25 things...

Thought I'd carry this over from facebook...

25 random facts about me

1. I LOVE fish tacos
2. I can bend my tongue in half...
3. I want to move to France
4. I sometimes dream in French
5. I prefer homemade to store bought food
6. I would rather be at Disneyland than watching the Super Bowl
7. I love the smell of books, rain, puppy breath, babies, sun block, and jasmine
8. God has blessed my life beyond measure. I am forever indebted to Him and grateful that I know Him
9. I wish I had a green thumb
10. I hate walking around in wet shoes. It makes me cranky.
11. I smile... a lot.
12. I miss my Nama, every day.
13. I am not quite sure where my place is in this world
14. I love looking at model homes
15. I am a control freak
16. I eventually want to build my own house... and fill it with family
17. I hate all things dealing with roast, pork chops, stew, cassarole... SICK.
18. I am an Angels fan... Except for when I'm around the Talleys... then I'm a Dodgers fan.
19. I want a tattoo but will never get one.
20. I like to challenge myself
21. I usually sleep without a top sheet
22. I love documenting my life through photos
23. I really really love tea parties, I'm hooked
24. I'm a dreamer, and when I dream... I dream BIG
25. I have a freckle on the bottom of my left foot, the palm of my right hand and near the corner of my right eye

Jan 29, 2009

The Runner's Playlist

I have FINALLY concocted the perfect playlist for my run this Sunday! Yay! It took me about two and a half weeks to tweak and change around the songs until I had them all in synchronized into a harmoniously motivating album... It's what will keep me going when my legs will want to fail me...

Well, the songs, and the crowd of joggers behind me. I really dont want to be trampled to death. I have plans to go to Disneyland later in the day.

What exactly do I have in my playlist you ask?

Well I made an iMix for your listening pleasure!

Let me know what you think! Think of me if you're conscious at 7.15am Sunday morning!

Jan 25, 2009

The morning after...

Why is it that on my lazy day, I can't think of anything fun to do?

Yet, the morning after, I thought of TONS of things I could've done. Scrapbooking (I'm still not finished with my scrapbook from my year in France... and that was 2005/2006), finish crocheting my scarf (started in the beginning of December), read (I have a bazillion books I want to read! And did I read yesterday? Nope), play Guitar Hero (My plan is to be the best... in the world.), or take a nap (I never take naps...).


I need to make a list for the next time I have a lazy day.

Jan 24, 2009

A Lazy Day

In theory, they're great. Everyone wants one, everyone is usually too busy to get one.

The days we're not working are filled with chores and errands. Clean the bathroom, do the laundry, go to the grocery store, clean the kitchen. All important things. Things that, if neglected, would cause chaos. When errands are done, things are clean and all is chaos free, we make plans with friends perpetuating our busy days and pushing our lazy days further off.

Until, finally, the day comes. All the planets are in line, you've seen it coming, the eye of the storm. The moment where you can take a breather from your hectic schedule to just relax and do nothing.

Today is that day for me.

My lazy day.

And it's now, oh, 11.30ish and I'm bored. I have no idea what to do with myself on a lazy day.

I've been looking forward to this day for the whole week! Knowing that if I was lucky, if I planned it right, I'd have to not have to do ANYTHING today... Now I'm bored. What do I do?

Maybe I'll go sweep the kitchen.

Jan 19, 2009

Meme theif...

Okay, so this is a "Four" Meme.

Here goes:

4 Dishes I Like to cook...

  1. Italian. There's this pasta dish by Giada de Laurentiis that I'm in love with... Well, I'm in love with everything she cooks and her... Anyway, it has sausage, artichokes, sun-dried tomatoes, parmesean, and fresh mozerella mixed with penne pasta. It's wonderful.
  2. Technically, it's not cooking... but I love salad... I can't get enough of it. And one of my favorite dressings is a homemade dressing with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and honey. Can't get much better than that.
  3. Steamed veggies. I eat them practically every night, and they never get old.
  4. Salmon. There's this pecan crusted salmon we get from Trader Joe's... It's so good. I'd eat it everyday if I didn't fear mercury poisoning.

4 Qualities I Love in People:

  1. Perserverance. I'm in awe of people who when kicked while they're down, get up and dust themselves off and continue. Wow.
  2. Honesty. Does this really need to be said? I mean, just flippin be honest folks, really. What's the dang point in lying?
  3. Faith. If you don't have faith, you have nothing.
  4. Loyalty. I really really really hate fake people. If you don't like me, stop being friendly in front of me and talking crap behind my back. If you've got beef with me, confront me.

4 Places I Have Been:

  1. France. I'd go back in a heart beat... Oh, what? You bought me a ticket? =]
  2. Solvang. Amazing little Danish touristy town near Santa Barbara. If you haven't been there, go.
  3. Texas. Uh, I was born there.
  4. Germany! Ja!

4 Things in My Bedroom

  1. Books. A load of them.
  2. iHome. If it weren't for this fine piece of technology, I wouldn't get up on time.
  3. Earrings. More earrings than any one person should really have. I love me some earrings.
  4. Two really old cameras. Circa 1950. Bought them at some open air markets while in France. Merci France!

4 Dirty Words I Like

  1. Merde/Schei├če. It doesn't really count if it's in another language... Right?
  2. Hunh... I really don't have any other dirty words that I like...
  3. Damn.
  4. Ok... So sue me. I don't curse like a sailor.

And with that, I am tagging:

1. Kym

2. Aurora

3. Katie

4. Astrid

Jan 17, 2009

Two weeks, one day.


I'm scared and nervous and worried. What the H did I get myself into???

What made me decide that I should try to run a 5k marathon???

Ugh, I'd give anything to go back in time to my September (?) 2008 self and kick me in the butt.

I now have 2 weeks and ONE day until my run. Eeek. But really, with all my training and my stubbornness... I can do it... Right?


Hmm. Well in two weeks and one day. I guess we'll see what I'm really made of...

Jan 11, 2009

You can stop now.

Dear Death,

Although your job requires you to fulfill certain obligations, I don't appreciate you using my family for a game of dodge ball, where you're the ball.

So, to give me (and my family) some reprieve I've made a list of demands... I mean, requests if you will, for you in lieu of knocking off all my family members until we don't exist.

1. Limit your family death toll to 2... per decade. This includes distant cousins, great aunts, adopted family members, and anyone twice removed, not just the immediate family.

2. Go on a vacation.

One that's very far away, where perhaps no other people live...

Maybe Pluto.

3. Retire. You've been doing this job for so long, I think it's time you gave it up.

4. If retiring is not an option, go on strike. I hear it's... "pleasant". You can demand better benefits, more pay, less hours... Less people to kill/take...

5. Kill only bad people... i.e. murders, drug dealers, rapists, child molesters, etc. Rid the world of the THOSE people, thus making this world a better place. It's a win, win situation. You get to do your job, we get to keep our families AND we live in a safer world. What could be so bad about that?

I know that your doing God's will and all, but can you talk to Him about perhaps, I don't know, increasing my families average life expectancy by, maybe 10... 50 years?

Please take my demands... er, requests into consideration and let me know... Before you kill off anymore people in my family.


Jan 8, 2009

Couldn't put Humpty back together again...

What a strange riddle to think of after experience an earthquake! Weird!

This evening I was playing Guitar Hero, workin' on my skills. You know, rockin' out. And I heard this rumble, before I could do anything the living room was shaking.

The walls of my house were shaking.

Take a moment...

Things like this, make you think about the fact that we're lucky it wasn't the big one...

You know what I'm talking about right? I mean, the news talks about it every single time we have an earthquake that's news worthy.

If not, lemme catch you up with the very much abridged version.

The San Andreas Fault line which runs the length (about 800 miles) of the state of California, runs very, very close to my backyard. In fact, it runs in the backyard of my university, California-State University, San Bernardino. Which is within walking distance of my house.

Yay me.

It's been said that, any day now, part or ALL of California is going to break off from the United States and float out into the open sea causing a new government to spawn. A "utopia", if you will, will be conceived and who will be named leader???

Me. Obviously. :)

Ok, not really.


But seriously? A study, done by Yuri Fialko (don't ask me how to say his name...) of Scripps Institution of Oceanography at the University of California, San Diego, shows that stress along the southern part of the fault line has slowly been accumulating over approximately 300 years. Historical records show that the San Andreas Fault experienced massive earthquakes in 1857 at its central section and in 1906 at its northern segment (the San Francisco earthquake). No one will forget the S.F. earthquake, nor the Northridge earthquake for that matter...

So, 300 years of pent up energy...

Two tectonic plates, pushing so hard against each other for thirty decades without going anywhere... That's pretty scary.

The unfortunate thing is we haven't figured out how to tell when an earthquake will occur. No shaman with his ear to the ground, no crystal ball, no overweight balding middle aged science prof can accurately forecast an earthquake. (Drat!)

So the moral of the story kiddies? Be prepared! Like the good ole boy scouts.

Want to watch a video of what it might look like??? Click here.

Jan 5, 2009

5k Marathon

Remember that 5k marathon I've been training so hard for?? Well, it's coming!!! It's in February and this marathon is for a cause. The cause is called the Free Wheelchair Mission which you can read about on this website.

I love helping out with charities whenever possible and I'd really appreciate it if you could show your support for me through a monetary donation to this charity. Any small amount helps!!! Thanks!!!

To make donations, please use the secure website below.